tension

i just got back from KL last nite..just finished attending a workshop related to a survey that ive to carry out..biasanya i like going out station like this...but this time..i betul2 tak suka

i like it when everything is organized well..if one thing went out of place..then everything else will crash..just like this course.initially, the organiser said everything is arranged and prepared for us, so we just hv to bring ourselves there.n then , at the last minute, baru cakap tht we hv to book tickets n hotel for ourselves..being an anak manja who doesnt posses a credit card, booking a hotel room is quite a big task for me.beli tiket flight..wont b a big prob bcoz my twin dah bagi her credit card for tht purpos..but then, if i use it to pay for hotels..sape nk sign the bills?forgive me...but sejahat-jahat i, i wont cheat when it comes to credit card n money..more over my twin is a bank staff..so, im not going to drag her into a mess tht shouldnt b arised...

when i was told to get my own accommodation, mula2 tu nk mintak my boss tolong book dulu, then i will pay later..but then, one of my friend said she wants to stay outside, at her hubby's house who happened to stay in KL..kebetulan pulak her hubby lives at the same aread with my sis..so i pun , thinking i will hv a teman to go around, opted for the same option..its not until the last minute, bila kitorang nk check in flight,i learnt tht my friend changed her mind and had booked a hotel for herself..at tht point of time, i dah tersentap..n knew something will go definitely wrong for me during the course held..well..1st impression IS true..definitely true..i was the last person to enter the classroom for the whole 3 days..n i nearly missed taking the assessment..the organiser is hell mad at me..n the senior officer in my team was pissed off ..i knew it was my fault..but should the organiser set things up straight at the beginning, i knew this kind of thing wont happen at all..i knew ME..usually im one of the early comers..sometimes i will reach the place even b4 the organiser do..but this time i really really messed up..it really demotivates me.i tak tau nak marah kat saper..to the organiser for the late information?to my friend for not telling me tht she changed her mind at the last minute?to my sis who always 'too relax n being late'?..in the end...i can only marah myself for not having credit card..tht one stupid plastic card does come in handy at times.

honestly..i betul2 dah tak ada mood nk join this research, coz all the big bosses for it mesti dah mark my name n my face..definitely they will thought im such a useless crap..the only thing tht makes me glued here is my specialist a.k.a my ex-lecturer..i admired n respect her a lot..n i cant say NO to a person who has turned me into what i am now (i mean the good sides of me) ..she even praised abt me behind my back a LOT..the senior officer told me about it when we were waiting to board the flight to KL...cant wait for this 1 year to end fast...want to get the job done..as excellent as i can get..wish me luck